San Francisco Parents of Multiples SFPOM General Discussion 12/14/2011 10:17 am - 12/15/2011
1. Holiday Party Fundraiser (twinpeakstwins)
2. Question about background check for nanny candidate (anonymous)
3. Re: [sfpom_general] Question about background check for... (susanrickard)
4. My 16 month old twins don't seem to like each other at ... (anonymous)
5. Comment: Palo Alto Pediatricians (nataliasha2004)
6. Comment: NTR: New Window Replacement (tavams)
7. Comment: Feeling guilty about not treating the... (nataliasha2004)
8. Comment: Feeling guilty about not treating the... (Sandpiper)
1. Holiday Party Fundraiser
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twinpeakstwins - 12/14/2011 3:05 pm
We raised a total of $80 for the SFPOM Club.Thank you
to the families that came out in support.
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#64893616 - Holiday Party Fundraiser"
Email author: twinpeakstwins@yahoo.com
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2. Question about background check for nanny candidate
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anonymous - 12/14/2011 2:32 pm
I found a fantastic nanny candidate for my children,
and immediately fell in love. I mean this woman swept
me off my feet. I loved her and thought she would be
an incredible addition to our family. I had been very
frustrated with the process of searching for a nanny,
and found like I had finally found the right fit for
our family. All was going along swimmingly until I
notified the woman that I wanted to run a background
check. She said that in her 25 years of experience, no
family had ever asked for a background check. She said
she had always been able to provide excellent
references and people trusted those references. She
also brought two printed reports - the first was from
the City of SF stating that she had a clean record.
The second was from Corte Madera stating the same
thing. She wanted us to use these reports in lieu of a
background check. I thanked her for the information,
but also requested her SSN so I could run my own
background check. She agreed to give it to me (with
some other requested documentation) the following day.
When I went to get the mail the following day, there
was a letter in my mailbox stating that she felt like I
did not trust her by asking for her SSN to run a
background check. She didn't understand why the two
reports she provided were not enough, and said that we
obviously didn't trust her so she wouldn't be working
for us. Obviously this is a huge red flag to me. I
struggule to understand why anyone would not want
submit to a background check if they didn't have
anything to hide. And I also can't believe that none
of the families she worked for previously really didn't
ask her for a background check. Needless to say, I
don't think we will be working together. But it got me
thinking/wondering... I just always assumed that a
background check was a standard requirement for most
families when hiring a caregiver/nanny for their
children. Is this something that not everyone does?
Secondly, has anyone ever heard of these types of
reports that this woman provided to me - where a City
states that a citizen has a clean record? It was the
first time I ever heard of anything like this and
didn't know if it was standard. I just want to be
prepared as I start over YET AGAIN to find a nanny.
This process is much more frustrating than I thought it
would be!! Thank you in advance for any
thoughts/insight!
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#64892989 - Question about background check for nanny candidate"
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3. susanrickard says...
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12/14/2011 3:24 pm
For what it is worth, I think you did the right thing
and I think that anyfuture employee that objects to a
background check is most likely hidingsomething and/or
there is something questionable in their
background.Regardless, you are well within your right
to request a background checkfor the person that will
be caring for your children. It is a
reasonablerequest.I personally have not done background
checks as I have relied upon thereferences that come
exclusively from this group or close friends when Ihire
my nannies or babysitters. However, I know many people
who do themand my brother hires his nannies through an
agency and one of their sellingpoints is that they do
thorough background checks.Additionally, I am an
attorney and many of my clients do background checkson
employment candidates, so it is extremely common
especially inCalifornia. If they do not do paid
background checks, they at least do thecursory google
and Facebook check of their candidate prior to
hiring.As for the reports that were provided to you, I
have not heard ofthe reports and I would not trust a
report that you did not generateyourself and/or did not
come from the San Francisco Police Department.It seems
as though your request for a background check was a
blessing indisguise.Best of luck in your search.On Wed,
Dec 14, 2011 at 2:34 PM, Anonymous wrote: Anonymous
posted: I found a fantastic nanny candidate for my
children, and immediately fell in love. I mean this
woman swept me off my feet. I loved her and thought
she would be an incredible addition to our family. I
had been very frustrated with the process of searching
for a nanny, and found like I had finally found the
right fit for our family. All was going along
swimmingly until I notified the woman that I wanted to
run a background check. She said that in her 25 years
of experience, no family had ever asked for a
background check. She said she had always been able to
provide excellent references and people trusted those
references. She also brought two printed reports - the
first was from the City of SF stating that she had a
clean record. The second was from Corte Madera stating
the same thing. She wanted us to use these reports in
lieu of a background check. I thanked her for the
information, but also requested her SSN so I could run
my own background check. She agreed to give it to me
(with some other requested documentation) the following
day. When I went to get the mail the following day,
there was a letter in my mailbox stating that she felt
like I did not trust her by asking for her SSN to run a
background check. She didn't understand why the two
reports she provided were not enough, and said that we
obviously didn't trust her so she wouldn't be working
for us. Obviously this is a huge red flag to me. I
struggule to understand why anyone would not want
submit to a background check if they didn't have
anything to hide. And I also can't believe that none
of the families she worked for previously really didn't
ask her for a background check. Needless to say, I
don't think we will be working together. But it got me
thinking/wondering... I just always assumed that a
background check was a standard requirement for most
families when hiring a caregiver/nanny for their
children. Is this something that not everyone does?
Secondly, has anyone ever heard of these types of
reports that this woman provided to me - where a City
states that a citizen has a clean record? It was the
first time I ever heard of anything like this and
didn't know if it was standard. I just want to be
prepared as I start over YET AGAIN to find a nanny.
This process is much more frustrating than I thought it
would be!! Thank you in advance for any
thoughts/insight! Add your comments online:
http://www.bigtent.com/group/forum/message/64892989?md=MTIzODE4ODg=&md=NjA3Nzg0MjI=
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Email author: susan.rickard.hansen@gmail.com
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4. My 16 month old twins don't seem to like each other at all!
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anonymous - 12/14/2011 10:38 am
Since the very beginning, my b/g twins have seemed
rather oblivious of each other. even when they were
old enough to play a bit (6-12 months), they generally
ignored each other. As they got to age 1, and became
more aware of each other, that obliviousness has now
morphed to downright dislike, it would appear.
Examples:1. when one baby is in my lap, the other will
stay away from me until the first has left (so that
baby can have exclusive use of my lap) or will come
over and literally push the first baby out of my lap
(which i re-direct, of course)2. they play almost
entirely separately -- when they are near each other,
its typically just for the purpose of stealing a toy or
pushing the other baby.3. they rarely smile or giggle
together (sometimes, but rarely). occasionally they
will feed off of each other's energy (like shrieking
with excitement when we go to the park), but that's
it.4. my son seems to want to engage more often with
my daughter, but my daughter rarely if ever lets him.I
have lots of help and often there are two caregivers
home at the same time caring for them (nanny, back up
nanny, my parents, husband, my sister, etc), so it is
rarely the case that either baby is left out or left
alone or otherwise given a reason to resent the other.
My babies have extremely different personalities - my
son is silly, giggly and ticklish; my daughter is much
more serious and industrious. I know its very early,
but i am concerned that this is an early sign that they
just wont get along very well as older children or
adults.Am i way off track? I know things change as the
babies grow, but will their relationship do a 180 at
some point? If your babies behaved similarly at this
age but things changed as they grew older, would like
to hear your story.thanks!
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#64887301 - My 16 month old twins don't seem to like each other at all!"
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Topic: Palo Alto Pediatricians
We just moved from the city to Palo Alto. Does anyone have
any recommendations of...
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With subject line: "Ref#64846867 - Palo Alto Pediatricians"
5. nataliasha2004 says...
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12/14/2011 12:30 pm
While I can't speak to that specifically, I know
there's a similar club in that area - maybe that can be
of use: http://mppom.org/Good luck!
Email author: nataliasha2004@yahoo.com
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Topic: NTR: New Window Replacement
Hello, anyone have a reasonably priced person that can
install windows that you can...
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#64839954 - NTR: New Window Replacement"
6. tavams says...
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12/14/2011 9:20 pm
We used Mark Woolrich for tons on stuff on our 1898
house and he was fantastic, on-time, clean, reasonable
and great around kids/babies. He can source the
windows and help with ideas as well. His number is
310-706-1476.TavaCanter & Lucy11/21/07
Email author: tava@msn.com
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Topic: Feeling guilty about not treating the twins equally..
Dear parents of older twins, I need your advice. My two are
so different, I could...
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#64704251 - Feeling guilty about not treating the twins equally.."
7. nataliasha2004 says...
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12/14/2011 12:48 pm
And - one quick amendment -- I cited one of the wrong
books. The other book that recommends this activity
is "If I Have to Tell You One more Time..." (by Amy
McCready) NOT Brain Rules, altho that is also a great
book with a ton of good information in it.
Email author: nataliasha2004@yahoo.com
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8. Sandpiper says...
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12/14/2011 3:46 pm
Thank you, Natasha!We definitely need to find time for
the one-on-one. Right now they like to be together most
of the time, but we need to figure it out. I have read
about one mom who put her twins in day care on
alternative days! I sometimes wonder if I should try
that and have half a day with just one, but I am sure
that they will be asking where the other twin is non
stop. I am so behind on reading books :(. Need to catch
up!
Email author: sfushome@yahoo.com
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