San Francisco Parents of Multiples SFPOM General Discussion 11/13/2012 10:14 am - 11/14/2012
1. Comment: Vasospasms (jeccat)
2. Comment: Transitioning back to work (MamaWobin)
3. Comment: Transitioning back to work (twin_boys_on_twinpeaks)
4. Comment: Paying nanny "over the table" (sfbamob)
5. Comment: Paying nanny "over the table" (jeccat)
6. Re:Paying nanny "over the table" (cav123_98)
7. Comment: Paying nanny "over the table" (jessicafsf)
8. Re:Recommend your Housekeeper (hashagen5)
9. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (noursej)
10. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (lborkow)
11. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (twin_boys_on_twinpeaks)
12. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (jeccat)
13. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (lborkow)
14. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (jeccat)
15. Comment: First day home alone with the twins (sfteach)
16. Comment: Travel to east coast with twins (karu_garg)
17. Comment: When do newborns start to consolidate... (eeewww)
18. Comment: Babysitter needed Saturday Dec. 1 and... (twin_123)
19. Comment: Have you used the Sleep Easy Solution... (julesr1515)
Topic: Vasospasms
Anyone else currently or previously suffer from vasospasms?
I initially thought the pain was as...
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1. jeccat says...
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11/13/2012 7:34 am
I had them my first trimester but they went away on
their own. They were EXCRUCIATING. There is a
medication-- maybe a blood pressure medication?-- which
my doctor offered me but I did not take it. Good luck!
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Topic: Transitioning back to work
I'm going back to work in a week and am a little
apprehensive about the transition...
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2. MamaWobin says...
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11/13/2012 9:31 am
I would definitely recommend visiting them at lunch if
you can. I visited and usually breastfed them on my
lunchbreak for my first 3 months back at work and it
helped me with the transition so much. If they had
already eaten or I got off schedule with pumping I
would just play with them a bit or give them a bottle.
Not only did it help me with my separation from them
but it helped me to see their caretakers in action so I
was more comfortable that they were being well taken
care of. But I was very lucky to have a very supportive
work environment and they didnt mind if I was gone a
long time or if I took off early in the evenings
because I missed my babies so much! I also went back
for just 4 days a week and that was a huge help too if
you can do it. Again, I was lucky my employer was ok
with this. If you cant do any of that try to set aside
some time in the morning when you are just playing with
them, not rushing around getting ready, feeding ir
changing them. You might have to get up really early to
accomplish this but since evenings can be rough I think
it's worth it. Also, if your nanny has a smartphone or
ipod ask her to send you pictures and video throughout
the day. And maybe even facetime or some sort of video
"chat"? We also have a webcam I can check in and see
them playing or sleeping. A great pick me up when I'm
missing them! Good luck!!
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3. twin_boys_on_twinpeaks says...
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11/13/2012 10:08 am
I went back full time even though I had the option to
go back 4 days a week. I ended up getting promoted
upon my return.I think having a nanny you TRUST is so
important. I also think having a nanny who is flexible
about when you may come home from work is also
invaluable. I have heard stories of nannies chastizing
moms who are 5 minutes late coming home, and waiting at
the door with their handbags. Mine was really flexible
on when I got home and this takes off a ton of stress.I
was lucky because both my boys slept thru the night by
the time I went back (5.5 months). So not being
completely wasted from lack of sleep was great. The
downside was they were often down for the night by the
time I got home as they would go down about 6pm. The
upside was that they were early risers (5-5:30AM) and
just joyful every morning so I would spend the most
unbelievable quality time with them 2-3 hours each
morning before I had to get ready for work.I would vote
not to go home at lunch time. It may be confusing for
your twins and create more separation angst (for you
too!) But you could try it and see how you and they
do. I would opt for leaving early so I could get home
for bath and bed time.
Email author: regina_eberhart@yahoo.com
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Topic: Paying nanny "over the table"
I just hired a nanny and want to be aboveboard on tax
withholdings, social security...
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4. sfbamob says...
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11/13/2012 7:21 am
Try Breedlove. The service does payroll for you and
someone there can explain everything.
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5. jeccat says...
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11/13/2012 7:42 am
I have decided to go with Paycycle instead of
Breedlove-- it is significantly cheaper than Breedlove
and made by the same people who make Turbotax, which
hopefully will make it ultra compatible with turbotax!
If figure if I need the extra service-- apparently
Breedlove files the taxes for you, whereas with
Paycycle you have to print them out quarterly, sign
them, and put them in an envelope yourself (though they
send you a reminder email and the address etc)-- I will
upgrade. Paycycle is about $400 per year with automatic
deposit, whereas Breedlove is >$1000.
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6. cav123_98 says...
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11/13/2012 9:14 am
We use Breedlove and Associates - they are great,
always have an answer for your questions, are online,
do all the taxes etc. Also pretty inexpensive!
https://www.mybreedlove.com/
Email author: charity@charityvargas.com
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7. jessicafsf says...
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11/13/2012 9:22 am
We use nannychex. I looked into about 4 or 5 services,
and nannychex fell somewhere in the middle of price and
service. I found Breedlove to be the most expensive;
there are cheaper services than the one we're using,
but I wanted pretty full service. With nannychex you
can choose whether you want them to file your quarterly
taxes, or if you'd prefer to save money and do it
yourself. They calculate social security, medicare,
etc, and cut a check (or do direct deposit) biweekly.
There are quite a few services - I think I just started
by googling "nanny payroll service."
Email author: jessica@burrows.net
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Topic: Recommend your Housekeeper
We are looking for a fantastic, detail-oriented housekeeper.
Please let me know if you have som...
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8. hashagen5 says...
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11/13/2012 9:21 am
I'm also looking for a housekeeper recommendation.
Hoping to find someone who sometimes works with a
second cleaner, so that moving furniture can be
accomplished for deep cleaning. Decent English is a
must, Would love to find someone who is careful,
willing to learn what I want, but then will be a
self-starter and do what needs doing.
Email author: hashagen5@aol.com
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Topic: First day home alone with the twins
It's my first day home alone with my b/g twins (they will be
8 weeks tomorrow) and...
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9. noursej says...
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11/13/2012 2:27 pm
i've been home alone with our girls for 15 months. you
can do this! it's crazy at first! you'll be a pro in
no time flat! you made it through the first day!
great job! it's intimidating. you did it! yahoo!
twice i called my husband in tears to come home from
work asap. once was the friday of that first week on
my own! the second time came months later during some
meltdown. breathe, count to a million, drink lots of
water (there's no time to eat anyhow!), cry along with
them, music, music, music!, sing, dance, promise
yourself that you'll get outside for a minute once a
day, every day. even if it's for 60 seconds at 4am or
11pm, or to bring out the trash. when i was pregnant a
stay-at-home-mom-friend-of-mine shared with me that
sometimes it's hard to get out of the house even once a
day those first few months; that you really have to set
it as a goal... i never could have believed the bar
would be so low! :)have your husband pick up 10 dark
chocolate almond bars on the way home, three jugs of
apple juice, 5 quarts of kefir, 60 luna bars, four
loaves of decent bread, butter, a toaster if you don't
have one. :)laughter is the best medicine. and hugs
from your husband. :)you're doing it!
congratulations!
Email author: noursejlm@gmail.com
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10. lborkow says...
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11/13/2012 4:44 pm
Thanks for the support! Day #2 was a little strange bc
my husband was home for part of the day since he had
jury duty and I had a mother's helper come in for 6
hours. She was good, but I don't think that's what I
need. I think I'd rather have a professional nanny who
I can leave the babies with for a few hours a couple
days a week rather than someone to help me. Tomorrow
I am back on my own. Should be interesting...
Email author: leslieellen@gmail.com
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11. twin_boys_on_twinpeaks says...
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11/13/2012 5:21 pm
bundle them up and take a walk outside--just once or
twice around the block. oh, GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!
Email author: regina_eberhart@yahoo.com
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12. jeccat says...
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11/13/2012 5:48 pm
Getting out without babies for a few hours every week
is amazing. We started with my nanny 1 day per week
when they were about 12 weeks and it changed my whole
outlook.
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13. lborkow says...
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11/13/2012 7:36 pm
I am definitely nervous/scared to take them out on my
own. Not sure if I am up for that yet! I know I just
need to do it though. What stroller do you guys
recommend? I just have the snap-n-go at the moment and
it really sucks to walk more than a block or two in. I
realize it is not meant for long (or even short) walks.
Email author: leslieellen@gmail.com
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14. jeccat says...
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11/13/2012 8:05 pm
Most people have the City Select (which you can also
use with car seats, or just use the toddler seats all
the way reclined with an infant body positioner), but
some people have the City Mini double. There are a
couple more options (the bob revolution, Phil and
Ted's) but those are the two most popular. Depends on
whether you want tandem (narrow is good for city
sidewalks) or side-by-side (some say it's more
maneuverable, both kids can face front with an equal
view).
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15. sfteach says...
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11/13/2012 8:58 pm
Congrats on making it through two days! I remember how
nervous I felt too, but it gets easier every day.
Everyone has given great advice, especially about
getting out and about everyday. I like to incorporate
errands into my walks, such as, picking up a package
from the Post Office, buying a few groceries, or
picking up a library book that I had on hold. Also,
your twins are at a great age to incorporate "you time"
into your day, as they will (hopefully) sleep for long
periods of time in their car seats. Take them to a
cafe, and read a book, check email, or gaze into space,
while eating something yummy. During the first two
months I reminded myself daily of the following saying:
The days are long, and the years are short. I find
this to be so true! Snuggle up with your babies, take
a bath with them, turn up the music and dance with
them, because all too soon they won't want to do these
things with you! (My independent 3 yo already
doesn't!) Good luck and I hope tomorrow is a good day.
Email author: adriennefolan@gmail.com
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Topic: Travel to east coast with twins
Hi parents,
In January we'll travel to Boston and NY for 12 days and I'd
love to tap into your c...
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16. karu_garg says...
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11/13/2012 10:07 am
Hi, we have travelled a fair amount with our twins
(flew to India when they were 3 months, flew back when
they were 5 months old and took multiple flights within
India as well), so we are hoping they will be seasoned
travellers!!We always took the car seats with the snap
n' go, worked well for us. We splurged on business
class (hoping it will make life easier), but realize
that what really makes it easy is if you have an empty
seat and you can park the car seat with the baby on it
next to you. We were lucky in that we got empty seats
on a couple of flights and it was way easier......but
we are talking about a really long flight, so I think
you will be okay not buying separate seats for them.
Keep blankets (those planes can get cold) and some toys
(new ones would be good). Our babies just slept
through the flights for the most part (some tantrums on
the way back when they were slightly older). We were
scared and very nervous but I think it almost always is
better than you anticipate!! Good luck to you...and
enjoy.Bhavna, we always gate checked the snap n' go and
car seats (no charge) but never flown Southwest so no
idea about them, you may want to call them to ask.
Email author: karu_garg@hotmail.com
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Topic: When do newborns start to consolidate naps from 3+ to
fewer?
Hi moms-- my twins will be four months old next week and for
the past couple of months...
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17. eeewww says...
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11/13/2012 11:59 am
We forced a three nap a day schedule at about 3.5
months. They were taking short naps and eating every 3
hours or so, but they didn't seem that hungry after 3
hours. So we did a 4 hour schedule and a 3 nap a day
schedule all at once. Now their schedule is as follows
(approximately) 6:15 am wake up6:30 am eat8:15-10:15 am
nap10:30 am eat12:15-2:15 pm (if lucky) nap2:30 pm
eat4:15-4:45 pm cat nap6:15 pm eat6:40 pm ish bedIt is
working ok. They are just over 4 months old now. They
still cannot be awake for more than 1.5-2 hours at a
time, so it is really important for them to take those
long first two naps. Otherwise the whole thing is
messed up. It is pretty difficult to get them to sleep
the whole two hours. They usually wake up around 40
minutes after the nap starts, and we have to go in to
put them back to sleep. Sometimes they will sleep the
rest of the time after that, and sometimes they will
wake again and require another intervention.This was
going ok until yesterday when we stopped swaddling them
and started using a sleep sack instead. Now all hell
has broken loose. :)I think a three nap schedule is
pretty standard until they are older. Yours are too
young for 2 naps/day. But a really small cat nap in the
afternoon is normal.
Email author: bugjarbabe@yahoo.com
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Topic: Babysitter needed Saturday Dec. 1 and Friday Dec. 7
Our regular sitter is out of town and we need a sitter for
our 3-year-old twins from...
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18. twin_123 says...
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11/13/2012 10:20 am
hey there! Ourbabysitter would be looking for more
hours. She watches my boys when i am out in business
trips. Her name is Linda Santos and she is a full time
nanny in a share care during the week. She also has a
son about 2 years old so she has plenty of experience.
you can email her at lsantos1624@gmail.com or call her
at 415-926-1929 or tent mail me for more questions!
Email author: shoot1624@yahoo.com
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Topic: Have you used the Sleep Easy Solution on twins?
We are going to sleep train our 4 month old twins next week.
We used the Sleep Easy...
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19. julesr1515 says...
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11/14/2012 1:38 am
My scenario is similar it sounds to RachelHK's. We used
that book plus Sear's sleep method (similar to CIO but
you go to the bed to soothe). It worked w/ my eldest
daughter and w/ one of the twin boys. The other twin,
even til now at 16 mo, does not sleep thru the night.
When we initially started sleep training when they
reached 14 lbs (@ 12 wks) he had reflux & would vomit.
Eventually he was put on Zantac which helped... until
he soon realized that's how you get your parents to run
to you (by vomiting in the bed). They all shared a room
but he had such a piercing cry (& would go about 15+
min) that one or both would eventually wake up & cry.
My daughter would eventually cry out of frustration. We
ended up need to separate him out at 4 mo and kept him
in our room. We finally put him back w/ the siblings at
about 6 mo. I find as long as he eats a good dinner and
the house is warm enough he only wakes up 2-3 times. I
figured out early that it's behavioral why he wakes up.
I gave up for now realizing he is a very energetic
child in the daytime and although he takes his nap, he
has pent up energy while processing his day at the end
of the day. He also has a difficult time self soothing
& uses the bottle to self soothe. He still makes
himself vomit when we delay responding. Now we leave
his bottle in his crib and learned how to get it
himself and go back to sleep but because if all the
milk, still needs a diaper change. The bottom line to
this is sometimes there is the exception and he/she
might be yours. Take care of yourself in the process &
negotiate as parents, what works best for your family,
what are your thresholds, & what concessions are you ok
making together as parents. Good Luck :)
Email author: julietvenzon@gmail.com
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