San Francisco Parents of Multiples SFPOM General Discussion 1/2/2013 10:13 am - 1/2/2013
1. high chair? (bhavna12)
2. Comment: high chair? (HollyBuchanan)
3. Comment: high chair? (CEmama)
4. Comment: high chair? (noursej)
5. Personality change? (stefaniesada)
6. Crib sheets (lborkow)
7. Comment: Crib sheets (jeccat)
8. Comment: Crib sheets (HollyBuchanan)
9. Comment: Crib sheets (lborkow)
10. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (bhavna12)
11. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (rosisu)
12. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (HollyBuchanan)
13. Re:My heart didn't break when I went back to work... (sheilaschroeder83)
14. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (rosisu)
15. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (eeewww)
16. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (suzanne659)
17. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (karu_garg)
18. RE: [sfpom_general] My heart didn't break when... (rockchalk90)
19. Comment: My heart didn't break when I went back... (stefaniesada)
20. Comment: Nanny Trust - What to Do (RachelHK)
21. Comment: Moving one twin to Kaiser while the other... (karu_garg)
22. Comment: Moving one twin to Kaiser while the other... (noursej)
23. Comment: Moving one twin to Kaiser while the other... (zs_mom)
24. Comment: Moving one twin to Kaiser while the other... (lborkow)
25. Comment: One baby reverting back to old sleep schedule (stefaniesada)
1. high chair?
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bhavna12 - 1/2/2013 3:15 pm
Before I start into a new topic, just wanted to wish
you all a Happy New Year! My husband and I were blessed
in 2012 to find out we were pregnant with twins in Jan
2012 and gave birth to our beautiful boy and girl on
9/7/12. Couldn't ask for a better year :)I was
inquiring to get some recs on high chairs for our
twins. Some requirements for us: minimal (nothing too
bulky), easy to clean, easy height adjustment, etc.
Thank you
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#75021975 - high chair?"
Email author: bhavna@gmail.com
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2. HollyBuchanan says...
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1/2/2013 3:34 pm
I wish we hadn't raced out and bought highchairs,
because they sat in the garage until very recently (our
kids are almost 3 years old!) We bought Stokke high
chairs because they seemed like they'd be the perfect
chair from baby to age 5. But, in order to use them
for babies you have to purchase the expensive add ons
of the tripp trap (so they can sit up) and the tray (or
they will destroy your table!) The reality was we were
having better success feeding early on in the vibrating
bouncy chairs (not while vibrating...obviously!) Then,
around 12 months we put them in the tripp trap stokke
chair, they put their feet up on the table and pushed
themselves (tipped) backwards! I saved my daughter
just inches from hitting the ground once! (youtube this
if you're considering these chairs...) In the end, we
ended up using our Phil & Teds Metoo travel chairs full
time for almost 2 years and LOVED them! I polled my
fellow twin moms and several of them had bypassed the
high chair entirely and were using only the Metoo
chairs also. The Stokke chairs just recently came back
out of the garage and now we all eat family dinners and
the kids love them and probably will until they're 5
because they are so adjustable. Moral: if you want to
save space and not get too technical, I'd feed in
bouncy chairs until they can sit up, then clamp on
chairs when they can sit up, then a Stokke style of
chair (even IKEA has one like this) when they're 2.5 or
3. Good luck!
Email author: h.buch@hotmail.com
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3. CEmama says...
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1/2/2013 3:55 pm
Happy New Year! I recently purchased the Fisher Price
Healthy Care Deluxe Booster Seat (about $25 new per
seat on Amazon) and have been happy with them so far.
They don't take up much space at all and are portable.
I like that they're easy to clean as well. My twins are
6.5 months now so I can't speak to the longevity of
their usefulness yet but they seem to get good ratings
from parents and grandparents on that front.
Email author: hae_won_lee@hotmail.com
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4. noursej says...
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1/2/2013 4:07 pm
happy new year! our girls are 17 months. i've LOVED
the fisher price strap on high chairs. here's the
link:
http://reviews.fisher-price.com/6194/52492/reviews.htmthe
three position recline/tilt is fantastic. the entire
base and back tilts back and leaves the kiddos in a
super secure position. i was sick of sitting on a
bed/floor (with bouncy seats) holding bottles. got
these around 6 months and would buy them again in a
heartbeat. with the tray i could prop the bottles.
soon thereafter they were holding the bottles
themselves without the tray prop. we still use these
chairs for 3 meals/day.they're easy to throw in the car
when headed to other folks houses too. oh, and taking
off the straps and cover and throwing it in the wash is
convenient. though, i must say we haven't used the
covers in months. i got sick of washing them. ---a
high-chair/mealtime related purchase that i couldn't do
without is
http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_SPM5921493705P?cw=true
absolutely critical for my sanity to vacuum the high
chair seats after each meal and all around on the
floor. just dump the contents into the trash after
use. all the parts pull out for a quick rinse every
couple of weeks. air dry and reassemble. love this
thing. :)---another super simple high chair once
they're fully sitting at the table and eating with you
guys is the ikea white one.
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/30069724/
would be great addition starting around 18 mos/2 yrs
for daily meals at the table. not high fashion, but
very functional.---hope these help.
Email author: noursejlm@gmail.com
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5. Personality change?
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stefaniesada - 1/2/2013 3:10 pm
At 7 months, our "sensitive" twin, who seemed more shy
and reserved than her more active sister, has become a
little belicose--she started by whining pretty
frequently and has now taken to hollering whenever she
is frustrated. I'm thinking it has something to do
with her being close to mastering certain skills like
sitting up and crawling--it's got to be hard to be a
baby when you want to be mobile and just aren't quite
there yet. Has anyone had a similar experience with a
baby at this age? (Overall she is still happy and
playful, but the change came pretty quickly and it is
very apparent.)
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#75021347 - Personality change?"
Email author: stefaniesada@gmail.com
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6. Crib sheets
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lborkow - 1/2/2013 2:32 pm
How many crib sheets do you recommend with twins?
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#75020176 - Crib sheets"
Email author: leslieellen@gmail.com
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7. jeccat says...
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1/2/2013 2:35 pm
I have three matching sets-- 6 sheets total. I'm glad
I have that many but I am anal about having the two
cribs match. I do not feel I need more.
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8. HollyBuchanan says...
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1/2/2013 2:38 pm
We have three sets, and probably only really needed two
sets. You do need some sort of protective waterproof
mattress cover, and I highly recommend at least 3 of
those so that you can immediately reset a bed that had
an accident or illness soak through to the mattress
protector.
Email author: h.buch@hotmail.com
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9. lborkow says...
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1/2/2013 2:59 pm
Thanks for the recommendations ladies! I am moving my
babies out of the same crib and have two sheets now,
but know I need more. Shockingly the ones I have are
vintage, (or maybe just really old) - as my mother
actually saved my crib sheets from when I was a baby.
I'm off to shop at Amazon for a couple of additional
sets of sheets.
Email author: leslieellen@gmail.com
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Topic: My heart didn't break when I went back to work...
Anyone else?
Hello moms-- I have seen so many postings by women who feel
that their hearts break...
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#74998987 - My heart didn't break when I went back to work... Anyone else?"
10. bhavna12 says...
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1/2/2013 8:51 am
Glad to read your post. I'm definitely a bit anxious to
go back to work. My first day is tomorrow. I have some
flexibility at work to work from home occasionally
ywhich is great. Our nanny starts today so I took today
off to train her and transition her in, my husband will
work from home part of the day tomorrow and Friday. All
in all, we are a bit anxious leaving the kids but we
are hopeful our nanny will transition nicely. I've been
home since August (month prior to delivery) so it will
be a transition for me. Any advice as I return to work
tomorrow? I'll be pumping and reserved the room for
3-4x/day.
Email author: bhavna@gmail.com
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11. rosisu says...
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1/2/2013 9:10 am
Hello, I am going back to work on monday after 20
weeks....and I am anxius too...especially given the
fact that I did it all by my self during the day until
now. I cant even imagine being far from them more then
2 hours (this has been my max) The idea of leaving
them breaks my heart, now they are so much fun
interacting talking playing...everyday they do
something new...we will have a nanny three days a week
and one day home for me and one dad....maybe we can get
together with you moms returning to work and share our
respective experiences?hugs and love to you all, HAPPY
NEW YEAR so much to look for...this will be one of the
most important year for our children, the first year of
life is when babies go through the highest development
of the entire life....
Email author: rosis@ptrehab.ucsf.edu
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12. HollyBuchanan says...
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1/2/2013 9:17 am
That is precisely how I felt, and I don't believe you
should feel guilty in the least. After 2 months in the
NICU, then 4 months of maternity leave, only averaging
1 shower every 3 days, barely able to brush my teeth
each day, pumping gallons and gallons of milk, awake at
all hours... I was MORE than ready to return to work.
The babies LOVED their nanny, and she provided much
more than just childcare (laundry, dishes, it was like
a miracle!) I believe they thrived from interaction
with someone other than me & my husband (first nannies,
now daycare) and I really needed adult interaction to
begin to feel like myself again. I will say it took
much longer than expected to shake the cobwebs from my
brain and perform well at work. Everyone was
supportive, and it wasn't as big a deal to be
pumping/storing milk as I thought it would be. I would
advise investing in a 2nd pump so that you can keep one
at work and one at home. The dragging of a pump,
laptop, purse, lunch, etc. every day was too much and I
was much happier when I threw down the $60 for a 2nd
pump off of Craigslist. (new parts, of course, but a
used pump.) Good luck to you both and all the best!
Email author: h.buch@hotmail.com
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13. sheilaschroeder83 says...
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1/2/2013 9:30 am
My b/g twins are in the 5th grade now. They were born
in early Augustand I went back to work the first week
of January after they were born.I share and agree on a
lot of your comments. I work full time and it'san
intense job. I leave at 7 a.m. and try to get home by
7 p.m. I alsotravel a night or two nearly every week
with a couple one/two week tripsa year. I'm never at
drop off or pick up and have only done one field trip
andit takes extra work to try and connect with the
other stay at home momsas a result. One has to try and
make the extra effort to get to knowthem if you aren't
at the school twice a day. I usually make it to
theannual school plays. I do manage to volunteer but
it's only forcommittees that meet at night and never
the PTA. My husband and I tryto volunteer for the
weekend school activities.On one hand I miss a lot.
However, we do usually eat dinner together(yes it's
late but they are used to it) every night I am home and
wespend our weekends full on with the kids. My husband
usually travelsthe whole week and is home from TR
through Sunday. We have a full timelive-in nanny and
couldn't do it without her. It can be a huge
struggleto balance everything. However, I need to work
and fortunately really enjoy it and find it
verygratifying. I believe I can love my kids and love
my job. They appearwell adjusted (ask me again when
they are thirty) and happy and we havelot of fun
together. I'll admit I feel guilt sometimes but
I'mgenerally over it. There were many Sunday nights
(esp when they wereyoung) that I counted the hours till
I could go to work on Mondaymorning. While I would
like to spend some more time with my kids andfamily in
general, for my family it was definitely the right
choice. Myhusband admits too that having two incomes
reduces the stress of havingjust one breadwinner. He
makes it work too and is a super partner anddad. I'm
not sure it could work without the partnership aspect.
Bothof us come from families where our moms had full on
careers so we wereboth used to having working moms. I
think the important part of thisconversation is that
there are definitely women who make the decisionthat
working is totally the right thing for them and their
families andnot to feel guilt about the choice.Good
luck.Sheila MSG_GreenwichSig_option2.gif Unless
otherwise indicated, this message is intended only for
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be relied upon as such. All information is subject to
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Email author: sheila.schroeder@macquarie.com
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14. rosisu says...
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1/2/2013 9:34 am
PS...I do hear you when you about guilty...I constantly
feel guilty, if I have one in my arms I feel guilty for
not having both when I talk to one feel guilty for not
talking to the other..it is the worst feeling and I
dont know how to get over it...
Email author: rosis@ptrehab.ucsf.edu
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15. eeewww says...
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1/2/2013 9:58 am
*like*
Email author: bugjarbabe@yahoo.com
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16. suzanne659 says...
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1/2/2013 10:31 am
That is me 100%. I had my babies later in life and
longed for them for years. I always expected that I
would want to jump into motherhood completely, be a
SAHM and give up my career. My maternity leave (all 7
weeks of it!) was exactly as you described - minus the
cafes and classes - no showers, brushing teeth,
civilized meals or sleep. At the time, my husband was
out of work, so I had to go back earlier than expected
and honestly, it was a relief!! Please don't
misunderstand me. I love my twins with an intensity
that I never thought possible, but I realized (a harsh
realization for me), that I'm just not cut out to be a
SAHM. I was really upset and disillusioned when I
realized that I wasn't over-the-moon about motherhood
and even went into therapy because I felt so guilty
with those feelings. Over time, I've realized that I'm
a better mother to them when I see them before and
after work. I'm fully engaged and excited to be with
them during those times. We are fortunate to have an
amazing, loving, patient au pair who is a wonderful
caregiver during the day and they are thriving under
her care. So, I say don't feel guilty! Not everyone
is suited for full-time stay at home motherhood. Being
a loving and engaged mom when you're with your kids is
the most important thing. Much better than a tired,
frustrated mom! Enjoy your adult time and the
opportunity to continue to exercise your brain during
the day!
Email author: suzanne@coppolamedia.com
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17. karu_garg says...
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1/2/2013 11:45 am
Another mom who is happy to be back at work!! I was
fortunate enough to have 6 months with my twins
(between jobs etc), 3 of which I spent with my ever
supportive family in India. But was I ready to go back
to work at the end??!! Like the others, I am happier,
more relaxed and a better mom for having some time in
which I can have adult conversations, use my brain for
something other than baby issues and being able to sit
in my office quietly without screaming babies!!! I too
think the SAHM moms are incredible and hats off to
them........
Email author: karu_garg@hotmail.com
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18. rockchalk90 says...
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1/2/2013 12:30 pm
Both my husband and I had full time working parents and
just to let you know we turned out just fine. Just as
the other person commented as long as you spend quality
time with them when you can that is the most important
thing. My husbands parents worked day and night and
only spent the weekends with him and his siblings but
the weekends were only spent with activities with the
kids - never work. I on the other hand hated the fact
that my mother worked all the time (even weekends) and
choose to work part-time (I'm lucky that I can) so that
I could spend more time with the kids. I don't think
there is a right or wrong answer. It really depends on
what works for each family and again the quality of
time that you spend with your kids. From:
sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com To:
rockchalk90@hotmail.com Subject: Re: [sfpom_general] My
heart didn't break when I went back to work... Anyone
else? - Ref#74998987 Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2013 09:33:02
-0800 Sheila Schroeder commented: My b/g twins are in
the 5th grade now. They were born in early August and
I went back to work the first week of January after
they were born. I share and agree on a lot of your
comments. I work full time and it's an intense job. I
leave at 7 a.m. and try to get home by 7 p.m. I also
travel a night or two nearly every week with a couple
one/two week trips a year. I'm never at drop off or
pick up and have only done one field trip and it takes
extra work to try and connect with the other stay at
home moms as a result. One has to try and make the
extra effort to get to know them if you aren't at the
school twice a day. I usually make it to the annual
school plays. I do manage to volunteer but it's only
for committees that meet at night and never the PTA.
My husband and I try to volunteer for the weekend
school activities. On one hand I miss a lot. However,
we do usually eat dinner together (yes it's late but
they are used to it) every night I am home and we spend
our weekends full on with the kids. My husband usually
travels the whole week and is home from TR through
Sunday. We have a full time live-in nanny and couldn't
do it without her. It can be a huge struggle to
balance everything. However, I need to work and
fortunately really enjoy it and find it very
gratifying. I believe I can love my kids and love my
job. They appear well adjusted (ask me again when they
are thirty) and happy and we have lot of fun together.
I'll admit I feel guilt sometimes but I'm generally
over it. There were many Sunday nights (esp when they
were young) that I counted the hours till I could go to
work on Monday morning. While I would like to spend
some more time with my kids and family in general, for
my family it was definitely the right choice. My
husband admits too that having two incomes reduces the
stress of having just one breadwinner. He makes it
work too and is a super partner and dad. I'm not sure
it could work without the partnership aspect. Both of
us come from families where our moms had full on
careers so we were both used to having working moms. I
think the important part of this conversation is that
there are definitely women who make the decision that
working is totally the right thing for them and their
families and not to feel guilt about the choice. Good
luck. Sheila MSG_GreenwichSig_option2.gif Unless
otherwise indicated, this message is intended only for
the personal and confidential use of the designated
recipient(s) named above. If you are not the intended
recipient of this message you are hereby notified that
any review, dissemination, distribution or copying of
this message is strictly prohibited. This communication
is for information purposes only and should not be
regarded as an offer to sell or as a solicitation of an
offer to buy any financial product or service, an
official confirmation of any transaction, or as an
official statement of the entity sending this message.
Email transmission cannot be guaranteed to be secure or
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be relied upon as such. All information is subject to
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Email author: rockchalk90@hotmail.com
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19. stefaniesada says...
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1/2/2013 2:54 pm
I totally get it. I had planned to take three months
off and then start back part time, stretching my leave
out over six months. The girls were born early and we
spent six weeks in the NICU. After a month at home I
called my boss and said I was coming back full time,
next week, and we hired extra help. (We are older
parents so are fortunate enough to have that option.)
I love, love, love them, but started feeling very
claustrophobic and housebound when I was at home full
time. (It might be easier with one baby, but with two,
it was so hard to get out or find any time for
myself.)Now the girls are seven months, and we have a
good routine--I'm up with them for a few hours after
they awake between 5:30 and 6:00, we play, have some
breakfast, spend some time lounging with dad. Their
nanny arrives at 8:00 and I am usually out the door by
9:00, home again by 5:30, with bedtime at 7:30 or 8:00.
Oh, and they still wake up for a bottle sometime
between 11:30 and 1:00, so I see them then as well.
:-) Weekends are our family time, though my partner
and I usually take a few hours on Saturday in the late
afternoon/evening for ourselves. The girls are happy,
bright babies and I often miss them while I am at the
office, but I have to say, it is a happy feeling to
hear our nanny at the door Monday morning!
Email author: stefaniesada@gmail.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------
Topic: Nanny Trust - What to Do
We have had our full-time nanny for almost 2 years since our
boy/girl twins were newborns...
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#74987512 - Nanny Trust - What to Do"
20. RachelHK says...
--------------------------------------------------------
1/2/2013 10:10 am
Rather than confront her, I would just ask her. "I
know you recall that one of our house rules is no TV
for the kids, but I just want to make sure - you're not
watching TV with them, right? ever?" if she lies,
then I think the trust is broken and you might need to
find a new nanny. If she fesses up and admits to it,
then you'll have to consider her explanation and decide
whether its acceptable. For example she could say "yes
I know that rule, and I 'm sorry, but when I came back
to work this week I felt that there were so many house
chores I wanted to get done for you, I needed the kids
to be occupied for an hour while I did them". Or she
might say "no, i havent let them watch TV but i did
watch your TV when they were napping." etc That
might be more acceptable to you than if she says "well
I was tired and I think TV watching is actually fine
for kids." Hope it works out for you!
Email author: rmherrick@yahoo.com
--------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
Topic: Moving one twin to Kaiser while the other is at
UCSF??
Happy New Year to you all! I posted around 2 weeks ago
about balancing time between...
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#74970416 - Moving one twin to Kaiser while the other is at UCSF??"
21. karu_garg says...
--------------------------------------------------------
1/2/2013 2:18 pm
Sorry you have to be dealing with this on top of
everything else. I don't have any specific tips for
this situation other than to talk to the "important
people" at UCSF and Kaiser to make them understand the
situation, hopefully someone will be human enough to
step up and put a stop to this ridiculous decision.
Other than that, hang in there and know that Malia
should be home soon. BTW I could never produce breast
milk (I used to get a couple of ml after religiously
pumping and then even that started decreasing) so my
twins have been formula fed from the start, and
although small, they are healthy and happy kids. Good
luck with everything.
Email author: karu_garg@hotmail.com
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22. noursej says...
--------------------------------------------------------
1/2/2013 4:18 pm
wondering how the weds morning conference call went?
hope you were able to keep the twins together at ucsf.
thinking of you. best, jen
Email author: noursejlm@gmail.com
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23. zs_mom says...
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1/2/2013 6:06 pm
Update:Hooray!! Great news today - we bought ourselves
another 14 days at UCSF. Malia gets to stay! The
attending thinks that she will probably be able to go
home by then, so we may not have to worry about the
transfer at all. Thanks to all of you that gave advice
and ideas - we filed formal complaints, had letters
written on our behalf and had every doctor, nurse,
social worker and lactation consultant at both UCSF and
Kaiser advocating for us. Today was a GREAT day!! :)
Email author: anneshamiyeh@gmail.com
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24. lborkow says...
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1/2/2013 7:14 pm
Yay!! I am so happy for you guys - what terrific news.
Happy New Year!!
Email author: leslieellen@gmail.com
--------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
Topic: One baby reverting back to old sleep schedule
Our twins are 15 weeks and started sleeping from about
10-7ish a few weeks ago. The...
Send comment to: <sfpom_general@lists.bigtent.com>
With subject line: "Ref#74848305 - One baby reverting back to old sleep schedule"
25. stefaniesada says...
--------------------------------------------------------
1/2/2013 3:04 pm
It sounds to me like they are doing very well. My
girls are 7 months, 14 & 15 lbs. Small but very
healthy. We put them to bed around 7, they wake around
11:30-midnight (sometimes later) and then are up by
6:00. We could probably be more rigid and train them
to go longer, but I'm okay with sleeping in 3-4 hour
blocks of time and they seem to be moving naturally
toward a full night's sleep.
Email author: stefaniesada@gmail.com
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