Support Group - New and Expectant Parents SFPOM New Parents - general discussion 3/26/2013 9:15 am - 3/28/2013
1. Comment: What did you do to cope with your kids... (noursej)
Topic: What did you do to cope with your kids crying to
sleep?
We have successfully achieved some balance in the sleep
department-- the babies generally...
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With subject line: "Ref#76782755 - What did you do to cope with your kids crying to sleep?"
1. noursej says...
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3/27/2013 8:43 am
hi alessandra, i like the 'do one chore' advice. it's
intense... i hear you.i always look at my phone and
start clocking 5 minutes. if they're still crying at
the five minute mark, i get them. unless it's a full
on scream, then of course i run. i tried the chore
idea yesterday. got the dishes done! it was a good
time out for me too. for me to recalibrate. it's
hard. their cries sometimes go right through me still.
at 20 months. but, you do 'dull' a bit to them.
nothing like those first newborn weeks where i wanted
to cry right along with them. it gets easier. it
does. and you learn what each cry means. they have
dozens of little differences... you learn it over time
by listening during the five minutes. that helps A
LOT. i learned a lot by listening. i think it also
helped me shift in my head, they didn't go straight
through me all of the time, because i was listening,
learning, etc. it was a small but critical shift in my
head.one thing i modified with sleep training is that i
never put them to sleep crying. not once. i
personally couldn't handle it. i myself hate just
about nothing more than crying to sleep. after a
fight, whatever, i hate it, hate how i feel. i just
couldn't bring myself to do it with our girls after a
sweet day with them. we've gone through periods where
one went straight to sleep but the other would stay up
with us until 9pm. then i'd put her into bed -
finally. definitely not recommending this, per se;
just sharing what worked for me, in case it helps.i let
them practice self soothing in their cribs during the
day at naps. but, i'd often be in their room talking
with them, lullabye CD on, me putting away clothes in
their dresser...etc... i put a comfy armchair in their
room and a side table with books/my laptop. i'd sit in
there and read for hours around 5-7 months. i think it
helped them to learn to self-soothe. i didn't hold
them. but was there...the sleep training we did was
during the night crying. we did full-on CIO (which not
many people do, I realize, but we were moving across
country and we packing the house and i was utterly
exhausted). CIO lasted three nights around 5 months of
age. i was so zonked i slept through 40 minutes of
crying the first night (my husband tells me, and our
bedroom is RIGHT beside theirs), 20 minutes night two
was pure mama hell, and a few minutes night
three...done. caveat was that they were fully night
weaned before we sleep trained. which gave me comfort
they weren't waking for food. the fully self-soothed
naps and bedtime going down in their cribs effortlessly
sleepy but awake didn't come until 8-9 months. last
night one of the girls cried a bit around 2:30am with a
bad dream. i went in to give her a hug, laid her back
down, and she went straight back to sleep. but i
couldn't fall back to sleep until after 5am and my
husband never got back to sleep. that happens too...
:/hope all of this helps. happy to chat anytime.best,
jen
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