[House] San Francisco Parents of Multiples SFPOM General Discussion forum digest: separate with commas, ...
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Sun Feb 23 02:16:14 PST 2014
San Francisco Parents of Multiples SFPOM General Discussion 2/22/2014
10:15 am - 2/23/2014
1. vacation time for a nanny? (SLeichtner)
2. Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny? (SLeichtner)
3. Comment: Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny? (noursej)
4. Comment: Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny? (noursej)
5. Comment: Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny? (SLeichtner)
6. Comment: Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny? (nataliasha2004)
7. Comment: Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny? (SLeichtner)
8. Comment: Question to mom's exclusively pumping... (lmcdowell)
9. Comment: Dressy Clothes Closet needs dressy clothes
(nataliasha2004)
10. Comment: please recommend a labor and delivery doula (noursej)
11. Comment: please recommend a labor and delivery doula
(nataliasha2004)
12. Comment: please recommend a labor and delivery doula
(nataliasha2004)
13. Comment: Kaiser SF - your delivery experience and pedia...
(noursej)
1. vacation time for a nanny?
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SLeichtner - 2/22/2014 8:28 pm
We are considering hiring a nanny, but before we do I
was wondering if it's standard to agree in advance to
vacation time. Also, is this time paid or unpaid?
Thanks!
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With subject line: "Ref#83838629 - vacation time for a nanny?"
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2. Need advice asap! Do I need a nanny?
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SLeichtner - 2/22/2014 8:27 pm
My son will turn two in April, only four days before my
scheduled c-section when my twins are expected. I am a
stay-at-home mom right now and I've hired babysitters
only a handful of times in the last two years. With
twins coming, however, I have been assured by everyone
I've talked to that this will be too much to handle
alone. Currently I've been thinking of hiring someone
for 30-40 hours a week, but I'm dreading the expense
and wondering if that's excessive, if I can get away
with less, or if a mother's helper would be suitable. I
have not had great experience hiring really young
people, but maybe I just haven't found the right person
yet. Also, I'm assuming I'm in for a shock with twins.
A lot more work than a single newborn - plus a toddler!
We interviewed someone today who might be perfect, but
before I move forward I'd love to hear from parents of
twins. Thanks so much for your thoughts!
Send comment to:
With subject line: "Ref#83838624 - Need advice asap! Do I need a
nanny?"
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3. noursej says...
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2/22/2014 10:20 pm
i'm a sahm of our 2.5 year old twins. i've never had
any help. and it's been a lot. i cannot, frankly,
imagine not having help with a toddler too. if you can
afford it, i'd definitely hire a help. the first four
months with twins are kind of nuts. it doesn't actually
kill you, but at some point you'll likely wonder if it
might, or if you've gone crazy. this doesn't last.
just real effects of serious sleep deprivation. it
does pass! :)the afternoon witching hour is really
rough. you'll definitely want help from 4-7/8pm zone.
i'd love to hear other's thoughts. i'm not sure if a
nanny is best, or a nanny some specific hours and a
night nanny/doula to help with nighttime feedings? hope
this is helpful.
Email author: noursejlm at gmail.com
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4. noursej says...
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2/22/2014 10:23 pm
also, if you think this person is perfect, i might just
snatch her up and give it a whirl. i'm not sure how
often perfect people come along. :)
Email author: noursejlm at gmail.com
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5. SLeichtner says...
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2/22/2014 10:49 pm
ha! Very true. She does seem wonderful. I was certain
this was the right thing to do, but when we interviewed
her today we learned that she would like a one year
commitment guaranteeing 30-40 hours per week. She is
currently a pre-school teacher with 11 years of
teaching/nanny experience. I really liked her and can
imagine enjoying having her around but the long-term
commitment makes me uncomfortable. I wish I had a
crystal ball. I know the contract isn't binding, but at
the same time I respect that she needs to make a living
and was up front about her needs. I don't want to take
advantage by testing the water, and then realize I
don't need that much help. Then again, I don't have
twins yet so what do I know? ugh...
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6. nataliasha2004 says...
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2/22/2014 11:11 pm
Hmmm. How many people have you interviewed? There are
likely others out there that you will also like... We
found that composing the right ad was key. And/or, if
you really don't want to let this opportunity pass,
maybe you can find someone else willing to
"nanny-share" in giving her an equal amount of hours,
totalling what she's looking for (if she's amenable to
the hours coming from 2 different households, that
is...)
Email author: nataliasha2004 at yahoo.com
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7. SLeichtner says...
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2/22/2014 11:31 pm
I've been looking for someone since December. The
problem I keep encountering is that even though I
specifically say I am not looking to hire anyone yet,
everyone wants to start immediately. I have interviewed
a couple people that I've really liked but they wanted
to start sooner than I was ready. One person even
suggested I hire someone else to split her time so she
doesn't get burnt out! She hadn't even started yet! I
put the search on hold but I'm ramping up again because
it's getting much harder to take care of my 22 month
old. I really wish I knew what to expect over the next
year once the twins are born. Maybe hiring someone for
so much time is excessive. Maybe it would save my
sanity, marriage, etc. As for the nanny share, it's a
good idea but we are also trying to move (she is
willing to stay with us) so sharing wouldn't really
work right now.
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-------------------------------------------------------------
Topic: Question to mom's exclusively pumping...
For those exclusively pumping and exclusively giving
breastmilk, when did you stop...
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With subject line: "Ref#83813412 - Question to mom's exclusively
pumping..."
8. lmcdowell says...
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2/22/2014 10:03 pm
Not quite the same situation, I breastfeed one and pump
for the other who never took to breastfeeding but
initially would pump each time after breastfeeding (now
that they're 10 mos I've been able to drop my pumping
to 4x/day and yield the same). But I was able to give
up nighttime feedings and pumping around 5 months,
right when my boys were sleeping through the night. I
followed their lead and my body adapted. I was told by
a lactation consultant that prolactin is released
between 2-6am and that's when you'll typically yield
the most, which I found to be true, so it's best to try
to get a pump in close to that time. Since I breastfeed
one around 7:30am, I wake up at 5:45am each day just to
pump (I yield about 50% of my output for the whole day,
usually around 17oz in 30mins, so it's totally worth it
to me). Then I go back to bed for another hour and my
body has that time to produce milk for my
breast-feeding baby. Anyway, maybe more than you need
to know for your situation, but the point is that I
followed their cues and as they slept longer at night,
so did I, and my body adjusted. I've slowly dropped
pumps over the months and now am down to 4x/day which I
think is where I'll end up. A lactation consultant did
tell me to never go longer than 8 hours, or at least
not consistently, otherwise you'll see a drop in
supply. So for example, I finish pumping around 10pm,
and then am up a little before 6 to pump again. I had
supply issues though, so I never wanted to take a
chance in dropping, others may have had luck going
longer than 8 hours.
Email author: lauren.mcdowell at ymail.com
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Topic: Dressy Clothes Closet needs dressy clothes
Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. If you had
any special events and now have dressy...
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With subject line: "Ref#83783652 - Dressy Clothes Closet needs dressy
clothes"
9. nataliasha2004 says...
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2/22/2014 10:20 pm
Thanks for posting that, HW!! For anyone who had to
dress up for a wedding or other special event, you'll
probably remember and appreciate how challenging that
likely was.... so if you still have that cocktail
dress, or maid-of-honor outfit, please consider passing
it along to the Closet! (Same goes for dressy things
for the little ones, whether they were ring-bearers,
just guests at something fancy, or have grandparents
with extravagant tastes!) Accessories welcome too (but
only if accompanying actual clothing.)You'll really be
helping your fellow POMs out! Good karma!! (& I'm
pretty sure your donation would be tax-deductible, but
I'll find out for sure, and post to the forum.)
Thanks! : )
Email author: nataliasha2004 at yahoo.com
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Topic: please recommend a labor and delivery doula
Hi.
My partner and I are looking for a doula for labor and
delivery. There are lots...
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With subject line: "Ref#83772862 - please recommend a labor and
delivery doula"
10. noursej says...
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2/22/2014 10:41 pm
i wanted a vaginal birth without epidural. my 'doula'
was maria iorillo, home birth midwife, acting as a
'labor management consultant'. you can call her and
see if she has spots open if that's something you're
interested in. best, jen
Email author: noursejlm at gmail.com
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11. nataliasha2004 says...
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2/22/2014 11:19 pm
We used Pamela Star (who just goes by her nickname,
"Star") - if she's unavailable, she's super-well
connected in the labor doula world and would probably
have some recommendations for you.Also, Natural
Resources on Valencia btw 24th & 25th used to have a
binder full of doula listings (as well as all sorts of
other related things) - and they offer a multiples
discount, and have LOADS of helpful parenting-related
books and videos (many about multiples) on loan to
members. Anyone can visit tho, and browse thru
their binders, tho -- members merely get a discount,
and access to some classes and other stuff.... (we
thought it was well worth it, for the first year,
anyway.) Good luck to you!!Definitely cook up a birth
plan, tho, so your whole birthing team is on the same
page about what you want in an ideal delivery, and how
to best handle any unexpected situations that might
come up... those are good to review with them well
ahead of time in case there's anything you need to
revise or have time to process, etc... Good luck to
you!! : )
Email author: nataliasha2004 at yahoo.com
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12. nataliasha2004 says...
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2/22/2014 11:20 pm
Sorry - forgot to include contact info --
http://www.doulastar.com/
Email author: nataliasha2004 at yahoo.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------
Topic: Kaiser SF - your delivery experience and pediatrician
recommendation for twin babies
Hello -
I'm expecting to deliver our twins at Kaiser SF at the end
of next month...
Send comment to:
With subject line: "Ref#83755139 - Kaiser SF - your delivery
experience and pediatrician recommendation for twin babies"
13. noursej says...
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2/22/2014 10:10 pm
hi, i didn't have my babies at kaiser, but at cpmc's
st. luke's campus. but wanted to write you because i
didn't have an epidural. like you, i wanted to have
full control over my body. baby a was vertex. fine.
baby b was transverse and got stuck in a wacky position
after baby a was born. classic scenario. because i'd
not had an epidural, i could climb off the operating
room table to change positions to get baby b unstuck.
then i climbed back onto the table, and baby b slid out
(like on a water slide!) ten minutes later. when i
declined the epidural, i agreed to having general
anesthesia. i'd worked at ucsf in critical care for
many years and had seen the
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