[House] Support Group - New and Expectant Parents SFPOM New Parents - general discussion forum digest - 3/28/2013

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Support Group - New and Expectant Parents SFPOM New Parents - general
discussion 3/26/2013 9:15 am - 3/28/2013

1. Comment: What did you do to cope with your kids... (noursej)
Topic: What did you do to cope with your kids crying to
sleep?

 We have successfully achieved some balance in the sleep
 department-- the babies generally...

Send comment to: 
With subject line: "Ref#76782755 - What did you do to cope with your
kids crying to sleep?"

 1. noursej says...
 --------------------------------------------------------
 3/27/2013 8:43 am
 
 hi alessandra, i like the 'do one chore' advice. it's
 intense... i hear you.i always look at my phone and
 start clocking 5 minutes. if they're still crying at
 the five minute mark, i get them. unless it's a full
 on scream, then of course i run. i tried the chore
 idea yesterday. got the dishes done! it was a good
 time out for me too. for me to recalibrate. it's
 hard. their cries sometimes go right through me still.
 at 20 months. but, you do 'dull' a bit to them. 
 nothing like those first newborn weeks where i wanted
 to cry right along with them. it gets easier. it
 does. and you learn what each cry means. they have
 dozens of little differences... you learn it over time
 by listening during the five minutes. that helps A
 LOT. i learned a lot by listening. i think it also
 helped me shift in my head, they didn't go straight
 through me all of the time, because i was listening,
 learning, etc. it was a small but critical shift in my
 head.one thing i modified with sleep training is that i
 never put them to sleep crying. not once. i
 personally couldn't handle it. i myself hate just
 about nothing more than crying to sleep. after a
 fight, whatever, i hate it, hate how i feel. i just
 couldn't bring myself to do it with our girls after a
 sweet day with them. we've gone through periods where
 one went straight to sleep but the other would stay up
 with us until 9pm. then i'd put her into bed -
 finally. definitely not recommending this, per se;
 just sharing what worked for me, in case it helps.i let
 them practice self soothing in their cribs during the
 day at naps. but, i'd often be in their room talking
 with them, lullabye CD on, me putting away clothes in
 their dresser...etc... i put a comfy armchair in their
 room and a side table with books/my laptop. i'd sit in
 there and read for hours around 5-7 months. i think it
 helped them to learn to self-soothe. i didn't hold
 them. but was there...the sleep training we did was
 during the night crying. we did full-on CIO (which not
 many people do, I realize, but we were moving across
 country and we packing the house and i was utterly
 exhausted). CIO lasted three nights around 5 months of
 age. i was so zonked i slept through 40 minutes of
 crying the first night (my husband tells me, and our
 bedroom is RIGHT beside theirs), 20 minutes night two
 was pure mama hell, and a few minutes night
 three...done. caveat was that they were fully night
 weaned before we sleep trained. which gave me comfort
 they weren't waking for food. the fully self-soothed
 naps and bedtime going down in their cribs effortlessly
 sleepy but awake didn't come until 8-9 months. last
 night one of the girls cried a bit around 2:30am with a
 bad dream. i went in to give her a hug, laid her back
 down, and she went straight back to sleep. but i
 couldn't fall back to sleep until after 5am and my
 husband never got back to sleep. that happens too... 
 :/hope all of this helps. happy to chat anytime.best,
 jen
 --------------------------------------------------------
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